Kill me please.

So what if u actually love me??
Am I supposed to be so happy??

It's weird the way some ppl think..

I haven't wrote anything in months.. God.. I'm dead inside.. I can't take all this pressure anymore..

Why was I born?

So.. Let's face it, I'm broke, lonely even though I've someone that adores me, misunderstood, frustrated, depressed.. I can keep going.. Describing my misery..

Believe it or not, dying right now wouldn't harm anyone! On the contrary, a lot of ppl would be happy n feel much better once I'm gone.. At least mom wouldn't have to worry about the money anymore..

I got no reason to live.. I want to die..

..........

I feel so lonely.. More than ever..

I actually feel so hollow for some reason.. I'm sick of this, need a way out, or a way back into my real life.. A ticket to salvation, whatever & wherever it is..

I want to cry but I can't. I can't because I don't want others to see me this weak..

Don't know what to say, words have betrayed me this time..

Pissed off like there's no tomorrow

I don't get it.. I just don't fucking get it.. What the fuck is wrong with you?????
Are you senseless? Spiritless? Emotionless? Or just frigging stupid???
Because I am going insane.. Basically I'm getting even more disappointed and questioning and doubting myself.. Do I have a trace of regret?! I SURE DO!

Seriously, what are you made of?! I believe it's wood, not blood and flesh.

You were created when stupidity and insensitivity were mixed together.. What a great blend!

I hate you, I really do..

Why on earth are you doing this to me.. Why? Just give me a god damn reason.. And if I should let things go their way or go with the flow, then I will.. If you want it to happen then I'll save you the effort of telling me.. Of hurting me even more..

Thank you for everything you've done.. Thank you for sabotaging my life.

Stepping stone..

Mistaken again..

Another stepping stone on my way to "happiness".. It's quite funny that everytime I think someone understands, I'd be turned down.. To my inner self who keeps telling me that no one understands shit.. That no one would understand my insanity, my sensitivity, my complexes but most importantly; ME.

But I just have to give it a shot each time, because I never lose hope. I'm not a very optimistic person, but I am hopeful when it comes to this. Because I did find that one person who took it all in and accepted it.. But how ironic that I lost that person, I let them go.. How pathetic..

I might be on my way to misanthropy!

This can't be true though, there's gotta be more than this..

The more I get disappointed the more I'm hurt.. And no, nobody sees my inner wounds & scars because they're too blind and ignorant to notice anything.. And I am not one to speak..

Can it get more fucked up?!

I guess I shall live with the regret of letting you go.. I wonder if you know how I feel though, because after all, you know me better than anyone, you see right through me in a magical way.

I just want to be free.. I want to get out of this quod..

I think I should not trust people that much, or believe in them, and maybe then I wouldn't be so spiritless and grim!

Don't Die

Don't Die

In a masquerade
Laughters fade
No way out
It's time to pout
I'm crawling
I'm calling
To your voice I hone
I hate it being alone
I did cry
I wanted to try
I can't

I shan't

I'm howling

Now falling

Frown on my face
Feeling the disgrace

By friends surrounded

With eyes of stone I'm hounded

With promises broken
With camouflage I'm choking
Too blind to see

Too numb to feel misery

Tore to the extent

Breaking my heart they meant

Looking around

No echoes, no sound

Mere a shadow

In a memory that's shallow

In a cul-de-sac

Where walls will crack

You go & you come
Hallucinating is in the sum

Called a daft
Left in the abaft
Desiring to fly above

But I don't believe in love
I believe in you
That's what I know

Hurtfully missed

With you I'm blessed

I lost her

I shiver

I think about you & I shake

I forget about her for your sake
My moon

Lighten it soon

My sky
Don't die

I'll quiver
As for her I did shiver

Won't bear

You not being near