Deluded.. So deluded

Of course I am..

I say horrible things about you, but at the end of the day, when I go to bed, you're my last thought before I fall asleep..
And when I wake up, you're the first thing on my mind..
As for the time between sleeping and waking up.. I spend it struggling and fighting with my inner self.. Because I miss you even though I shouldn't.. Because I love you, and it's stupid..
Stupidity, guilt and confusion are killing me..

Maybe we should both die at the same time.. And then our souls might get together again.

I miss having a cat..
Actually, I miss Poosy..

Illusion

Happiness my butt!!
I'm stuck....

Hello freedom.. Hello birthday!

Let's see.. A happy post? Oh man.. I can't help it.. I am happy.. And this is probably the first time I post something relatively positive.

Viva revolution.. Viva Egypt! If Guevara was alive, he would've been really happy for the Egyptians. This is not about kicking a president's butt.. This is about retrieving dignity and pride. About waking up in the morning, feeling truly free.. Walking down the streets, feeling like you own every single road and path in this country because it's yours. It is about retrieving what was stolen from you.

And damn.. I'm 21 already? I sure don't feel like I've been living for 21 years!
This year.. I'll make a difference.
This year I'll be happier. I'll be successful. I'll be everything I always wanted to be. I know I can make it because I've got all that it takes to be that kind of person. And because I finally have the right people by my side.
If only dad was here.. I would've made him proud.. Really proud.

And as for you.. The one who's been making my life a living hell.. Goodbye.
I'm finally free.
I got back my freedom.. Just like those brave Egyptians got their freedom.

Having one of those days..

It may be hard for you to believe.. But living with this sickness is far more difficult than the pain it brings to you from my hurtful words. For you- you can escape. You can walk away from me at any moment. I am left here in my mind. In the pain and confusion that is my life.